Here's an example of what online couples therapy can look like in practice. Every couple is unique, but many can recognize themselves in a story like this.
Background
Anna and Erik had been together for ten years and had two school-aged children. They met in Anna's home country, England, where Erik was working for a period. After six months, Anna moved to Sweden with Erik.
Their connection was strong from the beginning, and despite cultural and language differences, they managed to build a life together in Sweden.
The early years were marked by strong connection, shared plans for the future, and lots of love. But in recent years, something had changed.
The stress of daily life with children, work, and responsibilities had taken over. Communication became increasingly strained.
Small arguments about everyday things – like chores, the kids’ bedtime, or weekend planning – often escalated into major conflicts or complete silence.
The sense of being a team gradually disappeared, and both of them felt increasingly alone in the relationship.
Intimacy, both physical and emotional, had decreased. Anna felt that Erik was withdrawing, while Erik felt criticized and misunderstood. They were both worried about the future of their relationship but didn’t want to give up without trying everything.
They read about how online couples therapy works and decided to give it a try. Online couples therapy felt more accessible and easier than going to an in-person clinic.
Since Anna preferred expressing herself in her native language and they mostly spoke English at home, they chose to do their online couples therapy in English.
The Therapy Process
In the first sessions, Anna and Erik had the opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings – something they hadn’t done in a long time without it leading to conflict.
With the therapist’s support, they were able to start putting words to their experiences without going on the defensive or blaming each other.
We quickly identified patterns where both reacted strongly to each other’s behavior – Erik withdrew when he felt criticized, which in turn triggered Anna’s sense of abandonment.
These patterns created negative spirals where both felt unseen and inadequate.
Using the IBCT method (Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy), we focused on:
- Developing more active listening and respectful communication
- Exploring the underlying emotions behind the conflicts – such as vulnerability, fear of not being loved, and longing for connection
- Learning to express their needs without blaming each other
- Creating more positive interactions in everyday life – small gestures that showed care and appreciation
Results
After about ten sessions, both Anna and Erik noticed a significant difference. Their conversations became calmer, more constructive, and marked by understanding rather than defensiveness. Misunderstandings decreased, and more moments of warmth, laughter, and closeness emerged.
Anna felt more confident expressing her feelings without it leading to conflict, and Erik felt he could be more open without feeling attacked.
They started doing things together again – going for walks, cooking meals, or just sitting down to talk – without tension or pressure.
They didn’t just deal with their immediate issues – they also developed new skills that made them better equipped to handle future challenges.
They ended therapy with a shared plan for how to continue nurturing their relationship in the long term – through regular check-ins, dedicated couple time, and staying open to seeking support when needed.
For them, online couples therapy wasn’t just a short-term fix, but a way to rediscover and deepen their connection over time.
Learn more and book online couples therapy with us.